Feeling Hungry and Devestated....

‘BANG!!!!’ I push the canteen door with all my might showing the resentment and the sign of unsatisfying to the ‘ friends’ who had been betraying my very expectation. Shit! I curst under my breath while gasping for air. I was rushing home from the temple (around 9pm) at the high speed cycling all the way, just to have something to fill up my crying empty stomach.

2 hours earlier, at the temple,I received a msg from a ‘friend’ which I thought (and to my joy) my savior to my hunger.. and I was expecting to return home to get a good nice meal.. I was waiting impatiently, hoping that the prayers will end as soon as possible.( to eat-I m damn hungry). An hour later, its 9.30pm and the prayer havent finish, but I was damn hungry, so I decided to step out, rushing down to my bike and start speeding home.

Yeye, i sing to myself..with this speed i will reach home in no time and able to fill up with the food my ‘friends’ cooked and my expectation for it was high…my legs was tired but yet I don’t give up and maintained the speed on my Cherry( my red bike).

I reached ABK( my Japanese language school hostel), parked my bike, rush to my room and start messaging asking my ‘friend’ whether there are still food left. ( I m damn hungry and I m expecting something nice left for me). I rush to the canteen knowing that they might eat there with my senior and junior.

When I reached the canteen which is in the underground,I pushed the iron door, and at the same moment I received the message, ‘Sorry, the food are finished’. I saw my ‘friends’, senior and junior sitting happly, satisfied. I was fixing my eyes on the empty wok, and plates at the same time. Speechless, I rush out, pushing the door and rush to my room.

Feeling devastated, I reminded myself, that it’s a obstacle, but yet i cant believed it, i was damn2 MAD!!!. Just a note- if I become hungry, I can really turn from a mouse into a real lion, I grow mad, I become angry, I just want to fulfill my need of filling my empty stomach. Just that!!! Another note- I share making dinner with my ‘friends’ where we take turns to cook.


I was damn upset , I was upset simply because I was expecting that these people might being concern and considerate about what i feel and about my need for once, by keeping some for me. I told these people that I will return and eat. Is that difficult? I told them already!!! The statement- Food not enough’ cant be the reason for not keeping food for me, because like I said, I told them already that I m coming home for dinner. Ok fine, its my fault for returning home late, but yet, I told them that I will be back for DINNER!!!!


This action is not once, their act of being self-centered… I undergo this a few times. 2 years being together in the oversea, and yet, they don’t give a damn about how I feel , and they are still being ignorant at time. It’s hard to explain to them what I feel knowing that they won’t care. But how can I live another 4 years with them? You can say that i m sensitif but if u r in my shoes, being a student in other country with the fact that u will have to stick with the same group of people fo the next few years..u will knwo what i feel.....

Nevertheless, One day I will tell them what I felt straight to their face!!!


PS; a part I pick and rewrite from one of the novel I read, about the obstacles of living in the oversea…so guys, if u are in this situation, what will u do? Will feel and act as in the story?