Down~~

Baby are u down down down down down ~~
downnnn~~,DOWNnnn~.
even if the sky is falling in
down

by Jay Sean ...love that..bt this post is different...

Damn, this feeling has resurfaces again after my tedious work of suppressing it.And to my dismay, this one piece of intense feel-not-good part of feeling just reemerge to overtake me.. agian like it always do..

After days of feeling good about myself n contented of my being ,a simple question from that someone has robbed it all...that is an enquiry bout my last sem's result.
　
The moment he had asked it it felt like cold wind being blowed into my skull,leaving a void space, that later being filled with dismay n despondent.


Its heavy now..my head .I m feeling like submerging myself in the dept of the deepest ocean , hiding myself from the present of my peers..I m ashame!!! Coz The fact that my last sem!s result which is not a thing to be proud of,more to be ashamed of, has somehow striped my ego(men hv strong ego u know)..huhu

Thus the feeling of down arises...which in my case could be define as the feeling of regret.upset,and shame.. those things that had been hunting me since EVER!!

To me, it is so depressing when it come to be defeated in academic coz now my only concerned as a sponsored student is studies!! I m defeated by my peers n my own expectation.. even though i dont really have high expectation of myself(not that I m lack of confidence) bt I m trying ot be realistif of my own ability..

Btw the main thing now is the damn feeling...DOWN! Everytime I flung in exams due to my carelessness..or realized that I mindlessly hurt someone,or if someone said smtg hurtful, or i missed someone badly , instantly my happy-go-luck mode be swith off into dark gloomy siri mode!!!

And the worst part it..it seems to turn on the I-MISS-EVERYONE mode as well!.. this is the time I would reminisce all the good times i had wif my old pals or of someone I used to loved.....bt all the time, I would be missing home!!

An hour ago,thanks to that someone who loves butting in wif the question i dislike most...'how was ur grade???'...now I m so in so much pain! I m emotionaly suffering... :(:(:(:(

BUT one thing I learned from the teaching of the great man , the Buddha is that, feeling do constatntly flunctuate,n it is impermanent ...its u, as the comander of the ship , to hve the ultimate power to meneuver it safely or to let it drift into darkness....

..



BUZZ!!! someone jez buzz me on my YM...n its AzT....a friend of mine(jez knew)...the doomes-day feeling has transformed into a bringht-spring daylight!

I m thrilled!! :):):) ....c feeling does change...

I m so into chatting now....bye2...XOXO :p

Disappear....missing u oulz!

'I try to reach for you,

I can almost feel you, your nearly here

And then

You disappear

Disappear, disappear, disappear
You disappear

Disappear, disappear, disappear'

one of my fav lines...

somehow this song kept on playing in my mind...
It kept on trigger my subconscious mind to remind me
of someone i used to love thinking of...
plus the lyric kinda fit my situation right now...

Anyway,I come to love that song n some other songs from
HOney B's latest album 'I m sasha fierce'
since i got to know this bunch of friends of a bff of mine..know what??
During the whole time lepaking at their appartment,
they played B's songs at full blast over n over non stop...
the concequences....as above..

These new friends of mine r cool ~~kowt??~~~
...spontaneous...n lively!
Their personality r flamboyant n natural ~hypocrite at times~~.
Plus they dont mind what others think bout them.
(They can be very noisy,i mean BIG time noisy!!)

They enjoy curses n being cursing n
making fun of each other in an acceptable manner....
they r hilarious like a good comedian,
always sending me laughing for hours..
I do really enjoyed hangout with this
bunch of people n dearly missing them
very much...

COZ

That is the moment when i m myself(myb)....
i need not pretend to be an invidual i know little of..
a person who to the eyse of others a normal lame person...
n poyo as well..hahah..also..
i enjoy laughing alot!

Even the shortest words they uttered would tickle me sending me
laughing through out the night...
even the thought of their saying or statement
would send me giggle non stop...

My fav was their joke using the L alphabet..
coz it spell out a lot of funny words..bt mostly in BM..
n they would tease one another using it!


So thank A,B,I,C,N,T,Z for making my Spring Holidays
the best ever n despite we just knowing each other,
u guys accept me as one of u guys..
THANKS .. hope we would meet again one day..
most probably this Summer..hehe

ありがとう！！

ps;even if T says no,I will pecah msuk umah uolz gak!

2010....Happy New Year!

Happy New year u oulz!!! MOtif???? isnt it too late to wish that??? in this case it not really ,since it my 1st post in the year 2010 rite,so it ACCEPTABLE (kowt?)

I m gonna b 21 this year. Each and every part of my body has been living n developing for the past 21 years already!!!!.huhu...if u think deeply,i mean deelpy n stop taking things for granted, into this statement, u will realized (in my part-i do) that for this pass years, my lungs, liver, heart, kidney,brain etc..has been living n working for 21 years...wa..have i do any effort to work hard in 21years straight?? never (bt its not the matter here)

Besides, do u realized How fast time passed.... Actually,i could still remember how i celebrated my 2008 new year, my trip back to Malaysia during Spring 2009 n my lovely trip with my gfs to Korea in August..these memories is still so vivid like i had it last month!!

Now its April....4 months into year 2010..so on the 2nd thought, its kinda late to wish Happy New Year though...hihi ;p

so the point of the story??
crapping NON! haha ;p

Life of S and B...

What a drama I would say after watching Gossip Girl....i m not a big of drama and series...although i used to be a one of Latin soap drama and Japanese short series and i just started wtching GG so i m not an expert in criticizing dramas....

I dont get this stuff happened around Serena and Blair in Gossip Girl....its too complicated. Its always about tense love triangle thingy ,twisting relationship.. and a bit of scheming and plotting to top others and some dramatic tention and scene happening around B and S..

A life like that would be tiring with all the constant changes of feelings and emotions... 1st Nate who dated Blair for quite sometime, then broke up and try to pursue Serena,then was rejected, and he started dating Vanessa, then breaks up again n hooked up with Jenny then again with Vanessa. At the same time, Blair fell in love with Chuck (after having sex in Nate's limo), and they didnt get together, then broke up, got together..then Blair gets together with NAte again..Serena would date Dan then broke up then couple with another guy named Aeron then breaks n gets back with Dan then break up......continuous 'get to gether and break up' scene.......want to know the detail, do watch GG....


With all the breaking and get together thing is exciting but emotional tiring...this kind of dramatic life is just crazy. .....if that are to compare to mine, B and S's are too bizarre...i mean my life is just simple...study,uni and homework and those are the things i concerned most.. (not fogetting family and friends...they are always the top of my passion). Not that i m in love or i m in dire personal crisis...but it doeant means that my life is a plian broing one...maybe sometimes..huhu

But Serena and Blair..Their's are just different,too complex....

Its just a drama but yet, i m sure in reality there are those who share the resemblance as S and B's. I would be neither be amazed nor envied but yet i pity them sometimes..its involve too much feelings of enjoyment,love and despair entwine together at the same time.

But at the end of the day I would say to myself...'Its just a fictional drama,so dont get over excited'...

Feelings...

hahaha...it has been a long,long time since i last posted(the same sentence i used when ever i start writting after my leave form blogging) its so like my signiture...haha..em..

Its kinda weird though....i mean the couple of hours ago i was having the mixture feeling of excitement, emotional and feeling of unsecure.. after watching GOSSIP GIRL. I just get excited and elated after indulging in the scandalous life of the Manhatten elite..haha...cant explain why but i just did

Then after watching an episode, all of the sudden my lappy Miss Toshiba, gonne insane..huhu....lagging as if she is already 60!!! Again i was thrown into the world of frustration like always in 80 minutes ago.... who dont..while u r enjoying chatting n surfing the net,then without any plausible reason, ur lappy go gaga!!! huh..

Thank God i was optimistic and i was comforting myself saying 'Phong the lappy is just teaching u how to be a patient man...plus u r 20 n save the drama.. u should act like a grown up man...just be patience..'. From agitated i became calmed...

So, i returned to my study table to start my 2000 kanji Japanes report on Hybrid Car...Unfortunately, i was unable to concentrate, cant think of anything but i started fantasizing (the word is too strong i think) n was in deep though about someone i wish to be with which is not worth telling.(nothing vulgar or dirty k..) Just missing someone....n i was in a deep longing for that someone... so i end up sitting infornt of my lappy again, hoping that someone might be able to fill in the void of my feeling....huh sad n loneliness always dwell in me live about 30 minutes earlier...huhu

N then, out of the blue, my best friend from my highschool buzz me on YM. He is doing medic in Manipal,India- n they r damn buzy, forever engaging in their studies.....the last time i every contacted him was early this year n some 'hey' n 'hai dude' in facebook,that all... then he asked for my Japan phone number n n i just type it on YM...soon i got a call.. its him!! At this moment i was overwhelmed...but the 1st thing i said after hello was 'oit mahal2 dowh, just chat on YM'..hahaha...

Thrilled to get to chat with someone today,what more with a lost best friend ....during this moment which is bout 20 minutes ago, i was damn excited, thrilled n yearning to be back with my geng..

So cant u see that, my feeling fluctuate irregularly... it keep on changing even in a second...in a minute u r happy n in another minute u r grumpy,sad, and n start to miss someone...then again it just gets excited and it goes in a circle.. luckly its not anyhing like broken heart,depression or misery which might lead to sucide...

This feeling is all the work of our powerful mind...actually i m not good n i cant go detail into this topic.. the mechanism of human mind..but what i can share is that...we are the authority of our own mind thus we can control our own feelings ....so dont ever let ur feeling overpower you,uncontrolled feeling is be hazardous.

Summer Holidays....Travel

I should have post this a month ago. Anyway, i was busy engaging with stuff..(not!). The fact is that is that i was too lazy to compose and post anything. HUH!

Anyway, during my last Summer Holidays from early August to 24th September, I have been to 4 countries in just a month! Japan, Malaysia, Indonesia and South Korea. It was a greatest record for me so far n i wish to break it, travelling more in a year...Traveling is so in my blood. I think i got it from my parents as they too love travel,especially like those backpackers ones.. Traveling is so much FUN!

On 4th August I went home flew to Malaysia,back to mysweet hometown in Taiping. In Malaysia, i was traveling all over, to Penang, Kuala Lumper and back to my parents hometown in Kedah. I barely stay put in Taiping for more then a week. My trip was endorsed by my Mum. she was the one who suggested me to go traveling rather than do nothing at home.

Kek Lok Si Temple, Penang ,Malaysia.

KLIA,hanging around with Mum and Dad before departure back To Japan.

Besides that, during the last week of my holidays in Malaysia, my parents brought me to The Jawa island of Indonesia. We went to Jakarta, Bandung and Surabaya.(i will post smtg about this later). Then after a few days returning to Japan, I embarked on a new journey to South Korea. It was an extaroardinary trip, luck was showering us during this trip.(it will be explained later)

Jakarta. Trip with my parents..

Seoul N Tower....Seoul, South Korea.

So that all,a brief about my summer holidays and the traveling i engaged in...

Powerful Typhoon this way comes!!

Have u guys heard the Choir during the welcome party when harry was in the 3rd(?)year in Harry Potter the movie? it goes like this, 'Something wicked this way comes'.. anyway, today, its holiday..class is canceled, and its HURRAY!!! ..and it was TYPHOON hitting Tokyo as well...and her name is Melor..

But this morning I did went to school despite the feeling of taking the day off. It was around 9pm when i woke up,i was late for class as it starts at 8.50am, i was shocking to see that my sliding door was vibrating greatly and my stuff in the balcony was scattered all over the place.. the wind was too great,n strong too .

I was so near to come to a decision to skipping class(only for this particular bad day k) . But today i m having 4 period of classes and all of them r important ones...gosh..so i had no other excuse but to attend class...so i cycled to the uni..I was cycling in the strong wind and in the forever falling rain.(it has been raining 3days in a row now.) and it was cold as well...seriously i wish i just could apparate in and out like those in Harry Potter's world..

Rain was falling heavily ,the wind was still strong(cant tell the readings) , i m sure the typhoon was at its peak..Typhoon Melor , carrying gusts of up to 198 km per hour , was about 200 km west of Tokyo at 7 am. The typhoon was moving northeast towards Honshu (the main island of Japan).

I was 20 minutes late when i reached the parking lot. I rush up, climbing the stairs as quickly as i could and as i was entering the building i just realized that my cap and my windbreaker was drench in water. I was too worry about getting late to class then getting wet . Upon opening the door i was nervous, upon thinking that all eyes might be set on me.It would be embarrassing since that i m still new in that particular math class. However.... as i was opening the door..it was quiet...THERE WAS ONLY A FEW IN CLASS!!

It seem that class for the 1st and 2nd period was canceled. So i had to wait. Around 11am the heavy rain stopped but its still drizzling and the wind was still strong. From the window of my class, i could see that some pedestrian was having problem with sticking out their umbrellas in this condition.few minutes later , the sky was shinning brightly even though my friend was saying that the typhoon is still hitting the area. It was weird though. The image in my mind was like- during typhoon it would be raining heavily and there would be heavy rain fall n so on...but what really happened was totally different, the sky was clear, with patches of cloud in the sky, a perfect whether for picnic.

Then,in class, a girl who was on the phone announce that the class for today is cancelled due to the typhoon.It was 'Hurray!' for a second but i was puzzled as well.

What the heck???????????????????????????????????????????? The whether was fine but yet its holiday??? i don't get it. My friend, Kuribayashi san went to the office, reconfirm with the the office and it was proved true. it was holiday all right..I wasn't upset or anything but I was just shocked..how come its holiday during some nice whether. But he said taht the typhoon might come again??

Now its 3pm already and the whether was beautiful. Even my housemate did his 3 days laundry and got them dried up.So now i just need to wait and see..while enjoying the 1 day holiday..hehe

this is an article i got from the net about this Melor Typhoon..

TOKYO (Reuters) – A strong typhoon barreled into Japan's main island on Thursday, disrupting transport and prompting warnings of landslides and floods, although there were no reports of serious damage.

Typhoon Melor, carrying gusts of up to 198 km per hour (123 miles per hour), was about 200 km (124 miles) west of Tokyo at 7 a.m. (2200 GMT) and was headed north-northeast at 50 kph (30 mph), the Meteorological Agency said.

Toyota Motor Corp said it planned to suspend production at all of its factories in central Japan on Thursday because of the storm, but that it would make up for lost output in the near term.

A total of 315 flights had been canceled and more were likely to be affected, while some high speed "bullet" trains had been halted in western Japan and several expressways were closed, public broadcaster NHK said. Thousands of people evacuated their homes, the broadcaster said.

One man was killed when his motorbike hit a fallen tree, Kyodo news agency said, and NHK said about 18 people had been reported injured. Television news also showed houses damaged by landslides on the southern islands of Okinawa and Kyushu.

"All night we had a lot of wind and huge downpours, and some flooding was reported in some houses yesterday," said Vishal Jani, a city official in Matsuzaka, Mie prefecture, south of the storm's center. "We were getting reports of houses shaking and shingles falling off."

But he said there were no reports of serious damage and that the skies had now cleared.

(Reporting by Yoko Nishikawa, Linda Sieg and Isabel Reynolds; Editing by Chris Gallagher)